Sunday, November 24, 2013

Indiegogo Rejects Theory That Sex Crime Rate Is Tied To Name Of Soft Drink

Also On Docket: Are Makers Of Black Death Vodka In Favor Of Bubonic Plague?

Despite protestations of longtime gamer and anti-sexiness advocate Anna Kreider as well as indie game darlings Jason Morningstar and Andy Kitkowski, crowdfunding engine Indiegogo has ruled that, although it may upset dorks, Tentacle Grape soda's name doesn't affect anything in the real world. 

More than one rape survivor, when asked for comment on the Kreider campaign, echoed statements made earlier today by feminist activists to the effect that they really hoped Anna, Jason and Andy had friends that they trusted who could tell them they're getting weird and should seek professional help.

Allegations that the purple beverage causes sexual assault, contributes to a failure of authorities to take allegations of assault seriously, or tastes good remain unsubstantiated.

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