Online Experts Widely Suspect Announced Fifth Edition Release Date Is Too Early, Late For Game To Be Any Good
In a press release this evening, Wizards of the Coast--manufacturers of Dungeons & Dragons--announced your summer will feature a lot of people repeating things they've been saying about a game they've never read for the last two years.
"'Players will be immersed in rich storytelling experiences' ? Like being killed by a ten-foot fall at first level?" said one gamer who has been saying basically that and nothing else for as long as anyone can remember in response to the announcement .
"'As they face off against the most fearsome monster of all time'? Well, Mike Mearls' game design is like watching getting your dick stuck in a microwave door and watching the tip explode, but I wouldn't call it 'The most fearsome monster of all time' LOL," said a frequent online commentator who has spent most of the current century in web forums polishing drafts and variations on that sentence like it was the jewel of the fucking Nile.