Thursday, December 19, 2013

WOTC Announces Confirmation Bias Con For Summer 2014

Online Experts Widely Suspect Announced Fifth Edition Release Date Is Too Early, Late For Game To Be Any Good

In a press release this evening, Wizards of the Coast--manufacturers of Dungeons & Dragons--announced your summer will feature a lot of people repeating things they've been saying about a game they've never read for the last two years.

"'Players will be immersed in rich storytelling experiences' ? Like being killed by a ten-foot fall at  first level?" said one gamer who has been saying basically that and nothing else for as long as anyone can remember in response to the announcement .

"'As they face off against the most fearsome monster of all time'? Well, Mike Mearls' game design is like watching getting your dick stuck in a microwave door and watching the tip explode, but I wouldn't call it 'The most fearsome monster of all time' LOL," said a frequent online commentator who has spent most of the current century in web forums polishing drafts and variations on that sentence like it was the jewel of the fucking Nile.

1 comment:

  1. "polishing drafts and variations on that sentence like it was the jewel of the fucking Nile."

    Genius, pure genius. I'm going to wake up in the middle of the night laughing at that, I swear.

    Thank-you, Sir.