Dongion Challenge Results In!

Zero Percent Of Team Pearlclutcher Game With People of Color

Voices for inclusion in gaming responded with deafening unanimity to The Dongion's recent challenge--they don't know the people they supposedly advocate for.

Despite blog analytics indicating the challenge was widely read and clear evidence it was discussed, none of them were able to come up with any evidence that they'd even seen, much less played with, anyone who wasn't white.

"This confirms what albinologists have long suspected," said one researcher "when these people say something like 'This Wild West game needs to neither remind anyone that there was racism in that era nor gloss over the harsh realities of the racial prejudice in the Wild West' this doesn't generate any cognitive dissonance because they're not basing their ideas on any kind of observation but rather just dreaming what they imagine people of color would say and than pushing that out of their suffocatingly large and garishly white asses."

Autarch Announces Dwimmermount Will Now Suck In New And Unexpected Way

"It's comically behind schedule and some critics claimed it lacked imagination from the start," says project manager "so we thought: 'Why not heap insult on top of that injury?'" 

Alexander Macris, caretaker of James Maliszewski's crowdfunded Dwimmermount project, announced plans to use the opportunity granted him by the original author's tragic emotional breakdown and subsequent abandonment of the ailing megadungeon module to make it worse.

Macris released some sample rooms on theRPGsite earlier this week, such as:

25. LATRINE There are several non-working toilets in this small chamber, along with similarly non-functional water basins. The room has a musty smell, but there is no evidence of any kind of mold present in the place. A tattered and grossly stained codex litters the floor near the toilets; judging from its obscene illustrations, it seems to be a religious tract of an erotic mystery cult. The codex would be worth 250 gp to a collector, but Paladins who read it must make a successful saving throw versus Spells or lose 500 XP from the corrupting material.

The new rooms have garnered praise from some fans, particularly ones who own Life of Brian in at least three formats, haven't read a book without a crossbow in it since The Scarlet Letter, and shouted "+5 backscratcher?!" last time you asked if the dead orc had any treasure on him completely like as if he had not also done that every single time anyone asked if there was treasure on a monster they'd just killed every single week since last August when some bright shiny nickel first had the idea to invite his extra-anchovy-eating, felt-drawstring-dice-bag-owning, Gazebo-shirt-wearing ass over to play.

Man Enraged That Women Are Doing Work For Him

"Sure, we're allowed to play for free in the Contessa Online Gaming Convention, but women are setting up everything and doing all the hard work--it's deeply offensive!" claims strange man, allies.

"This is just like that time my mother made me a grilled cheese sandwich on rye toast with a side of butter beans," said one commenter, "I didn't stand for it then and I'm not standing for it now."

Gamer Claims He Has No Opinion On Subject He Doesn't Know Anything About

"I don't know anything about him and I'm no expert," says one witness "but if I were to speculate, I'd say it's because he's terrible"

Social Justice Monocle-Droppers: Take The Dongion Challenge!

Post a picture of yourself playing a game with a person of color.

Even one.

It can't be at a convention with people you just met. It can't be an on-line game. If you are a person of color (and you probably aren't) you can go ahead and post a picture of yourself, so long as, in the picture, you're playing a game with other people.

Challenge ends Feb 28!

Vague Accusation Of General Wrongdoing Made Against Ill-Defined Group

Author Really Sick Of Trend He Keeps Looking For Evidence Of

RPGnet Vague On Imaginary-Rape-Threat Advocacy Policy

Public asks: Does Skotos Tech encourage or merely tolerate creating imaginary rape threats?

It was revealed this week that RPGnet moderator Paul Ettin / Paul Matijevic both endorsed and publicly encouraged
others to endorse false accusations that a game designer "threatens their critics with rape" 
after, and only after, learning the allegations weren't true.

Other gamers, after being given an opportunity to reconsider their advocacy of the fake accusations
(in the wake of the careful, months-long investigation into the charges on the part of one of the accuser's
friends) rescinded their support, apologizing on Google Plus:

...while many more gamers removed their plusses from the inaccurate post quietly.

Meanwhile, the RPGnet moderator, reflecting what for all we know is RPGnet policy, eagerly

seized on the opportunity to encourage lying about threats of violent sexual assault:

While Ettin's powerful stance in favor of what is arguably libel and what is unarguably bullshit

has clear appeal, it leaves aspiring RPGnet moderators wondering "Is this a requirement?

Or just a suggestion?"

To aid Dongion readers, those unsure may wish to send this letter, or a variation upon it,

to RPGnet proprietor Shannon Appelcline via shannona AT skotos DOT net and CC:

Skotos CEO Christopher Allen christophera AT lifewithalacrity DOT com. 

Dear Mr Appelcline and Mr Allen,

     I would like to one day become an RPGnet moderator.

    After reading about your moderator Paul Ettin's fake-rape-threat-accusation advocacy, I had

a few questions:

     If I want to become a moderator, should I start advocating false charges of rape threats now?

Or should I wait until such time as I become a moderator? Should I make up charges of rape

threats myself? Can I make up reports of rape threats about anyone, or just non-members?

Would alleging that you, Shannon Appelcline and Christopher Allen, threaten people with rape

improve my chances of becoming a moderator?

     Should I make up other facts about RPG personalities? (For example, would: "Ed Greenwood

stole my niece's rollerskates and then farted on them" be acceptable?)  I guess what I'm

asking there is: Are made up facts in general advocated by RPGnet, or just made up facts about

traumatic, life-decimating episodes of sexual violence? Does it have to be libel, or does slander

count?

    I am unsure which course will best express to Skotos the dedication to honest discourse

and unbiased judgement in matters of heated debate becoming of a forum moderator.

Please advise!

Sincerely,

Aspiring